LETTER TO DAD - A world For You And me

“A World For You And Me”

My dad has always been there for me, from my first loose tooth to my college graduation. No matter what, he always loved me even when I was a brat. My dad worked hard during my childhood, he’d always tell me he wasn’t tired but I knew he was. He’d just smile and say, “Pooja, you make me very happy. You, your mother and sisters. Never forget those who love you when you grow up.” Those words stuck with me till date and I never forgot about those who love me. My father was a great man, even if he didn’t know it.

          I’ve never realized my dad’s pain and sadness trying to keep us happy, I never knew he’d stay up all night making sure we were safe at night. I never knew he cried at work thinking about us. I always thought my dad was strong and nothing could hurt us with him around. He loved and cared for us so much, I wish I could thank him for all that he has done for us. He always protects us, even when he was too tired to fight anymore.

          I was born on the 15^th September 2002 and my dad said it was the happiest moment in his life. He said that I smiled at him the first moment he held me in his arms. He said I was the most beautiful child he ever saw, and he still says I’m beautiful.

          My father took me to first day of school and almost cried. As he saw, he was going to have to leave me all by myself. I smiled at my dad and he said “Pooja, you need to do your very best and make lots of friends. Don’t worry. Daddy will be right here for you. I love you sweetheart” and he stayed by my class door the entire day not wanting to leave. He wanted to protect me from everyone even though he knew I was safe. He smiled as I walked to school by myself but I knew he was sad he couldn’t come with me so I held his hand and walked him to school with me so he wouldn’t be sad anymore. He smiled and kissed my cheek and I walked into my classroom.

           Once I asked daddy if he could teach me how to ride a bike; he smiled at me and kissed my forehead saying “Yes my blossom, anything for you”. It took him 3 months before he could buy my first bike. I was so excited. I hugged my father tightly with rolling tears. He looked at me; his eyes gleaming with tears that are yet to fall. “Pooja, I love you so much I cannot see you shed any tears” he wiped my tears away as he held me tight.

          The next day he began teaching me how to ride y tricycle. He instructed me the steps to ride the tricycle; I nodded and he began pushing the tricycle slowly then he let go and said “See Pooja, you’re doing it all by yourself”. I smiled at him but without looking my tricycle hit a curb and I fell face first into the grass. Dad ran as fast as he could towards me and picked me up in his arms and kept saying that it’ll be ok. He kept smiling while looking concerned hoping I was alright. A few months after that, I finally learned how to ride a bicycle because of daddy.

          When I was 10, my father got us a surprise in which he wouldn’t tell us what it was till that night, being that it was my birthday, my dad decided to get me a puppy. He smiled at me as the puppy began licking my face he kneeled down to me and said softly “Well sweetie, what do you want to call him?” I thought for a second and said “Pablo”. Daddy told me it was a great name; he smiled at me and petted Pablo’s small head.

*A few months later*

          One fine day, I came home from school and called for Pablo. He usually runs towards me to get patted and to play with me but this time he didn’t show up. I called for him again and again. He still didn’t show up. I found mom and asked “Mom, have you seen Pablo?” Mom looked at me sadly and said that something had happened to Pablo. Involuntarily, tears started to roll down my cheeks. Dad then came into the room with a blanket in his hands and I began crying as I hear dad saying “Pablo is gone”. He uncovers the blanket and I see Pablo’s lifeless body covered in blood and I grab dad’s waist and hugged him tightly letting my tears roll off my cheek and onto him. That day, we had a funeral for Pablo at our backyard. That was the toughest day of my life. I cried the whole day thinking about Pablo. It took me weeks to recover from Pablo’s loss.

          My father was worried when I first started high school. I think he was worried I’d end up hanging out with the wrong crowd like how my sister did. He knew I was a smart girl and that I would know the right thing to do but he still scared. Insecurity to be accurate. “Pooja, you need to do your very best and make lots of friends and don’t worry, I’ll be right here for you. I love you, okay?” I smiled at my dad and hugged him tightly as I walked to school. I looked at him and grabbed his hand then walked to school with my dad because I didn’t care what anyone thought. I love my dad.

          A few months into school year, I finally got a boyfriend. Though my dad wasn’t too keen on me having a boyfriend but he accepted him. My boyfriend smiled as he first met my dad and said “Hello Sir, I’m Akash”. My dad looked at him sternly then looked at me and smiled. He then greeted Akash. However, my relationship didn’t last long and dad knew I was heartbroken. He would often leave small notes and treats in my room trying to make me happy including a small stuffed teddy bear. He came into my room one night and hugged me as I cried into his chest; he kept saying that everything will be fine.

          My dad was so proud of me when I graduated high school. He was smiling throughout the entire graduation; he hugged me when I walked towards him with my certificate. He had tears in his eyes and said “Sweetie, I’m so proud of you that now you’ve graduated high school”. I smiled and told dad that I had a surprise for him that’ back home.

          We got home and he asked me what the surprise was, I grabbed a letter and told him to read it. He read it and smiled big; nearly screaming “YOU GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!”. He hugged me and tears streamed down his moist cheeks and he kissed my cheeks saying “You did it Pooja. Be who you want to be. Be the best in being you. You’re good at that.” He then chuckled at his own statement. I smiled at him and said “I will dad. I Love you so much. That’s not all. There’s another surprise waiting for you in the reading room.”

          At the corner of the reading where we sit and read; daddy’s favourite place of all other places in the house, it was dimly lit by a small chandelier. Dad was a little surprised and confused to see another envelope on the table. “It’s a letter. To you.” “Who is it from?” “Me of course.” *I giggled* Dad patted my head and read-

            Dear Dad,

        I write to you not only as your daughter, but as one of many daughters who know the unique intricacies of the lessons only their fathers could teach them. I write to you because out of every helping hand I have received in this world, you receive the least amount of credit and praise for the things you do. You’ve always stood back and let me shine, only stepping in when I call for you knowing you can’t be more than a short distance away. It’s time I use these words to pull you and every other remarkable father into the light you so deserve to be seen in. It’s time that light radiates on the genuine and extraordinary love only you could have shown me.

        A father teaches his daughter many lessons about what it means to truly love and experience this life. One of the most critical understandings he can portray to the young eyes beaming up at him is the notion of how she should be treated. Dad, I remember everything. I remember being tucked in at night and kissed good-bye before you left for work. I remember every time my sister and I made you dress up in crowns and feather boas, and play with our dolls. I remember every piggy-back ride and backyard game. I remember every chocolate sundae and long talk shared on drives home from practices. I remember every time you selflessly did what I wanted, and never asked for anything in return. I remember every display of overwhelming patience and grace you showed me. I remember it all, because it lives in the heart of a daughter forever.

        Often a dependable and trustworthy father figure can become a scarcity today, so for those of us blessed enough to be graced with one like you, we feel the strength of that presence. We watched the way you ran to get the car for us in the rain or wiped our tears away after a boy broke our hearts. We let those images engrave themselves on our young and transforming hearts as we grew into young women. We learned to love the way we were loved by you. We had high expectations because you set the bar high. We had high hopes because you taught us that love from another should be respectful, honest and encouraging. As a father, you taught so much more than a daughter could ever articulate.

        Dad, you were the first man I ever loved. You held me, played with me, supported me and let me grow. Your patience, quiet notion of complete understanding and unwavering love made me the woman I am today. You believed in me first. You danced with me first. You gave me all I could have ever needed, because you gave me love. And by giving me love, you taught me what love is and also what it isn’t. You showed me that love is being strong and humble, while also loving one’s self enough to reach for the stars. Love is respect and support on all of life’s endeavors. You’ve packed up that red truck and brought me to every new adventure my heart needed to go on. You’ve held me tight and told me I could do anything.

        One day you’ll walk me down the aisle to another man, chosen in the image of how you taught me to be loved. When I let go of your arm I hope you know that my heart is molded in the shape of the love you showed me. I hope you know I’m never really letting go because I know that through any stage I encounter or dream I decide to chase, you’re still back there watching me, and waiting for my call. I know that in my heart there is no love like the first love, and that part of me will always belong to daddy.

            Forever,
            Your Little Girl

Upon reading, dad got up and pulled me into his tight hug. I tightened my hug and we le go after a while. “I love you sweetie” he said with a wide and sweet smile. “I love you too daddy.”  He pecked a kiss on my forehead and led me out indulge the best home food made by mom specially to celebrate my success.

          A few months later, I was in in my first year of University and I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t eat or sleep. I grabbed my phone and called dad.

“Hello?”

“Dad, it’s me, Pooja.”

“Pooja! Hello, how are you? How are your studies? How’s everything? Tell me about your classes.”

“Hehe, I’m fine dad. Studies are going kind of rough, and I wanted to call because…”

“Because…..?”

“Because… I… I.. I don’t think I can do this anymore.” *sobbing*

“What’s wrong Pooja? Is everything alright?”

“I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“Pooja, you’ll be fine. I trust you. You can do it! You are perfect. Just don’t stress too much about it, OK?”
“Yes dad… Ummmmm….. Dad?”

“Hmmmmmm… Yes?”

“I love you.”
“I love you too sweetie. Miss your presence here.”

“I miss you too dad.”
We hung up and this scenario often happened every now and then until I completed my Degree. Degree was full of stress, struggle, pain and hardwork, but it was all worth it. I wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for my dad. He was my utmost motivation.

          I finally graduated and visited my dad, he was close to 60 years old and had cataracts in his left eye. He had slight dementia but was manageable, my mom passed away a year ago and he has been depressed ever since. I smile as I entered the old house; my dad smiled and got up slowly. He hugged me, then sat back down in his old wicker rocking chair and looked out of the window. “Dad, how have you been?” my dad looked at me with a slight sadness in his eyes and said “I’m fine sweetie”. I smiled because I haven’t heard that calling in years. I hugged my dad not wanting to let go of him. “Dad?” I said to him as I held my head to his chest. He looked down at me and smiled slightly. With tears in my eyes, I said “Dad… I don’t want you to go.” “Pooja, where would I go?” “I don’t want to be alone on this planet without you” I cried on his chest. Dad put his frail hands on my head and said “Sweetie, I’ll always be in your heart. Just remember that for me, OK?”

          I smiled and said “Dad, I’m moving in with you so that I can take care of you like you took care of mom and us.” Dad looked at me sadly and said “Pooja, I wouldn’t want to bother you. You go live your life sweetie.” I held my dad a little tighter and said “Dad, you are my life. I love you. I’m moving in with you and I’m going to make our lives an unforgettable memory. A world for you and me Dad. Just you… and me. To compensate to all the times we missed each other’s company.” My dad lightly patted my head and pecked a soft weak kiss on my head. I tightened my hug for a little more longer and let go; kissed daddy’s cheek.